Theme	Having a pet animal
	Category	Relationships with the environment (animals)

Real Life Situation

Why do children want to adopt a pet so much?

To children and adults alike, pet animals are quite appealing. Be it a kitten or a puppy, children are moved by them. Pets are babies and as such, children want to take care of them. They find them cute and a child believes that a pet is interested in her and wants to be with her when it looks at her, comes to her, touches her or sniffs her. She feels loved, desired and her desire to love is awakened.

Unless the child has already had a negative experience with an animal (e.g., being bitten), she is likely to develop a very idyllic image of the relationship she may live with her animal. This image is reinforced by the movies and television series you saw that present animals as speaking heroes or stunt animals. But the real world is different and she may be disappointed when she realizes that her animal doesn’t do all things she wants and he may not always have good manners (e.g., he nips objects around the house, he growls, he wakes you up early in the morning).

At 4 or 5 years old, a child may also overestimate her capacity to take care of the animal. She may believe this will be easy and promise to do it, but it is only when she actually has to take care of her pet that she realizes what it means. At that age, she is able to feed her animal, clean his house, brush his coat. She will do it very regularly… at the beginning. Excited by her new duties, she will be very attentive to her animal, but chances are she won’t be able to maintain such a routine. When her animal won’t be new to her anymore, or when he will no longer be the center of her life, she will take her distance and even forget about him. She may be reprimanded by her parents for not keeping her promises and then be required to fill her duties even if she doesn’t feel like it. Her dream then turns into a constraint.

Rules are also hard to respect for a child, particularly those concerning the handling of animals. Even if she is told about the negative reactions an animal can have if his routine is disturbed (e.g., when he eats) or when she pulls his tail or touches his neck, she is likely to forget about them. She may even not believe them; at this age, a child is inclined to overestimate her capacity. She will only realize the meaning of these rules when she is confronted to the consequences (e.g., when she gets hurt by the animal or when he runs away). Many children then get reprimanded (e.g., “No, don’t take the cat like this”, “I told you not to open the door and let him out”). Others, unfortunately, get hurt by the animal (e.g., the child is bitten or scratched).

For the child to make the most of her experience with her pet animal, she needs to be properly prepared by her parent and supported throughout the experience. With the help of her parent, this may become an enriching learning experience for the child and she may live a pleasant emotional relationship with her pet animal.

Tips for Parents

How can you help your child enjoy the presence of a pet animal in the house ?

• Be realistic about the pet you plan to buy.
  When you decide to buy a pet animal for your child, make sure you’ve made the right choice. Think first about the well-being of all the members of your family. Is your child allergic to animals? Does one of the family members suffer from asthma? Get informed about the specific characteristics of the animal you want to buy. Does the animal bite easily? Does he require a lot of care and attention from you? Is he active, interesting or stimulating for your child? Think through the implications of your decision. Will the animal’s routine care be expensive to maintain? Can you afford it? Do you have enough space or is your house large enough for the type of animal you’re buying? Have you taken the animal’s nature into account? How big will he be when he reaches maturity?, etc.
  


• Set clear rules about how the animal should be handled.
  Teach your child how to behave around the animal. Many animals may hurt a child. It is important for your child to know about the risks of handling pet animals; she must also understand that an animal cannot be handled like a toy or a doll.
  


• Be vigilant.
  Even if your child knows the rules, she must be monitored. Do not overestimate your child’s capacity to respect the rules.
  


• Be flexible.
  Do not expect your child to be constant in accomplishing the tasks she promised to perform. Your child needs guidance. You may have to remind her of her tasks and responsibilities over and over again; you may have to help her do them. Keep in mind that a sense of responsibility is something that develops over time and it is up to you to be there for her throughout the process. For children under the age of 6, it would be good to buy a pet animal only if you, as a parent, are willing to take care of him yourself. If you are not interested in doing so, or if this looks like additional work to you, it may be wiser to wait until your child gets old enough to take care of the animal herself.
  


• Do not blame your child for her inconsistency.
  Rather than reprimanding your child for her inconsistency about how she takes care of her pet animal, remind her of his needs. Don’t make her feel guilty, but tell her why her animal needs to drink, eat, or why it is important that her puppy’s house or cat’s litter be cleaned, etc.
  


• Be attentive to the affection your child has for her pet animal.
  If you need to give up your pet animal or if he dies, do not trivialize your child’s sadness even if what she lost was only a goldfish. Acknowledge her feelings and explain what is happening. Avoid making your child guilty by implying for instance, that her animal is dead because she didn’t care enough about him.